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Spoilers are rampant in the Netflix age but they can be avoided, says Adam Moynihan

Spoilers aren’t a brand new concept. I’m sure plenty of people had classic plot twist movies like Michael Collins ruined for them by some loudmouth who just had to tell everyone that *SPOILER ALERT* Michael Collins gets shot at the end. Spoilers are, however, far more widespread in the Netflix age as viewers have the freedom to consume entire series from start to finish at their own (often breakneck) pace.

We used to experience TV shows together, the nation waiting with bated breath for Sunday night to see which character Miley would shift next (disclaimer: I only remember one storyline from Glenroe). Spoilers were basically impossible because no one, apart from people directly involved with the production, had anything to divulge.

But the fact that we’re watching all of these episodes at different times makes spoilers inevitable. People are so eager to vent about the death of their favourite character, speculate about a blossoming romance or discuss the latest utterly insane fan theory, they blurt out too much information and ruin your day.

What annoys me more than anything is when someone is fully aware that you haven’t seen something yet they continue to speak about it regardless.

SPOILER ALERT: The next section actually contains a spoiler. If you haven’t seen Dark but plan to, skip to here (arrow):

I was speaking to a friend recently and she asked if I had seen German series Dark. I said I hadn’t and asked what it was about. “It’s like Stranger Things,” she said. Okay. That was all the information I needed. I was on board. Alas, she wasn’t done talking.

“If you travel back in time and change the past, do you change the future?” I thought she had changed the subject. “Yeah, I suppose?” I replied. “Ah,” she said cryptically, “But do you?”

“Have you just given away the premise of the entire show?”

“Yeah, kind of. Sorry.”

I was going to ask her what would happen if I travelled back in time and never spoke to her again, but I went and watched Dark instead. It was good. Not as good as it would have been if I didn’t know what was going to happen, but good nonetheless.

The details shared don’t even need to be overly revelatory to be a spoiler. Here’s a common example:

FRIEND: Hey man. Have you seen the last episode of Narcos?

ME: No, not yet. I’m going to watch it later.

FRIEND: Oh. I won’t say anything so.

ME: Okay.

FRIEND: [pause] But there’s a *massive* twist at the end!

It might seem innocuous, but that’s a spoiler. Now I’m expecting a massive twist at the end. However the story appears to be going, I know that it’s not going to turn out that way. The tiniest piece of information is too much for me. I don’t even like knowing the duration of the thing I’m watching. If you know there are only a few minutes left, you can rule out certain twists or plotlines as there simply isn’t enough time for it to happen.

If that sounds a bit neurotic that’s probably because it is, admittedly, a bit neurotic. But I want to be genuinely surprised by what’s unfolding on the screen before me. Here’s how that conversation with my idiot friend should have went:

FRIEND: Hey man. Have you seen the last episode of Narcos?

ME: No, not yet. I’m going to watch it later.

FRIEND: Goodbye.

ME: Goodbye.

There. Easy. No more spoilers. Fair enough, you might end up friendless but that’s okay. Netflix is your friend now.