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THE thud when that fat, glossy wedding invitation lands on your doormat will fill you with either dread or delight. You open it and – yup – the bride or groom has failed to include the all-important “and guest” on the allotted line.

For those who face being asked solo to these glittering affairs, the fact that the summer wedding season has drawn to a close will elicit a sigh of relief that would blow that bridal bouquet from here to Sneem.

Several years ago friends and I would swap horror stories of being invited as a lone ranger to these do’s. “Ah but the bride is only thinking of her numbers when she asked you on your own,” was one justification from a well-meaning but misguided would-be peacemaker.

We were circled at the time around a very upset pal who summed it up when she snapped back, in tears: “Feck her and feck her numbers!” Diplomacy worthy of Kofi Annan was deployed in this instance to ensure my friend could bring a plus one.

But what kind of ego does it take to feel your guest will have a good time and be comfortable asked to make smalltalk with strangers on either side of the table? She or he is in effect the odd one out at a table of four or five couples.

Or better again, what about being seated at the kiddie table as a kind of freelance, freewheeling nanny? A nanny who is paying dearly for the privilege in terms of time and effort as she vainly protects her fascinator from spills?

No matter what anyone says, unless you have been consulted as to whether you would prefer to attend on your own, it feels like a massive slap in the face to be invited to a wedding without a plus one.

People who have been on the receiving end of this faux pas tend to have a sixth sense when it comes to looking out for one another. The above tearful friend would motor to my own rescue later that same year as I attended a wedding solo. Well before the clock struck midnight, she happened to be driving by the venue and texted asking if I fancied a means of escape. High heels or no high heels, I couldn’t clamber into that getaway car fast enough.