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A bit of understanding goes a long way

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There’s a lot of negativity floating about at the minute. The upcoming referendum on repealing the Eighth Amendment has been hugely contentious so far and we’re still a full month out from the vote. A whole bunch of people feel very strongly about it on both sides and, as a result, debates get very heated very quickly. I would never discourage someone from being passionate about something, especially when it comes to an issue as important as abortion, but if we really want to have a conversation, a bit of understanding could go a long way.

Personally, I’m pro-choice. I think the current legislation is dangerous and equating the life of a foetus to the life of a woman is, to my mind, unreasonable. I also believe that women should have the freedom to decide what’s right for their own bodies, and it’s sad that they have to ask for our permission in the first place. A lot of you might feel as though abortion should remain illegal but, as entitled as you are to your opinion, I fundamentally disagree. I suppose that’s why we’re having a referendum.

When people differ on a subject this emotive, tensions often flare and friendly chats turn argumentative in the blink of an eye. But what does that actually achieve? Maybe it might make you feel a bit better about yourself. You might leave the interaction thinking, “Jeez, I made a right fool out of that fella on Facebook,” or, “I wasn’t long quietening her,” but is your goal to convince or to ridicule? Taking the piss out of someone on the other side or denigrating their beliefs isn’t going to change their mind. If anything, slating the other campaign is more likely to fortify it than break it down.

The only way of reaching someone is by having an actual conversation with them, and to do that you have to make a genuine effort to understand where they’re coming from.

Why does something that seems so inherently right to me, seem inherently wrong to someone, say, 25 years older than me? (I don’t want to generalise but the rift in this particular instance does appear to be largely generational.) I think about this quite a bit. In 25 years’ time, will a new law be proposed that we whole-heartedly oppose, but our future children insist must be passed in the name of progress?

It’s a scary enough thought – especially as we’re part of a generation who consider ourselves to be very liberal and open-minded - but it’s entirely possible. And it opens your eyes to the fact that we think the way we do for a reason. We are, to a large extent, products of our environment. When it comes down to it, I feel the way I do about abortion because of factors like my upbringing, the people around me and the cultural influences I’ve been exposed to. The same is true for those on the other side of this debate. We’re basically the same. For whatever reason, we just ended up on different sides of this specific divide.

When you look at it from that perspective, you can talk to someone and say, “Right, I completely understand where you’re coming from but this is where I’m coming from…” With this kind of approach, maybe you’ll be able to change a mind or two before May 25 - regardless of whether you’re voting ‘yes’ or ‘no’.

And even if it doesn’t work, it’s a lot better than slagging each other off on Twitter for the next four weeks.

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Newstalk Summer Tour arrives in Killarney

Newstalk’s 2025 Summer Tour, in association with ESB, is making its way to Killarney this week, bringing live broadcasts from the town. On morning, Friday, June 20, Newstalk Breakfast with […]

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Newstalk’s 2025 Summer Tour, in association with ESB, is making its way to Killarney this week, bringing live broadcasts from the town.

On morning, Friday, June 20, Newstalk Breakfast with Ciara Kelly and Shane Coleman will be live from the Café du Parc in the Killarney Plaza Hotel and Spa, kicking off at 7 am.
Ciara and Shane are scheduled to speak with local Kerry figures and take a trip on Killarney’s jaunting cars to see the sights.
Kelly said: “I am so excited to head to Killarney. I have had some fantastic memories as a child visiting Kerry and can’t wait to go back for Newstalk’s Summer tour!”
Coleman added: “Kerry is a wonderful place to visit and I am looking forward to seeing its natural beauty, vibrant culture and rich history.”
The week-long tour is taking the full Newstalk experience to towns across Ireland, featuring live shows, special guests, and conversation.

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Ring of Kerry Cycle to honour founder Paddy O’Donoghue

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This year’s Ring of Kerry Charity Cycle, scheduled for July 5, will be run in memory of Paddy O’Donoghue, a founding member of the event.

Mr O’Donoghue, aged 81, from Muckross, passed away following a road collision in Kilgarvan on Tuesday, this week.

Paddy was a retired Kerry County Council engineer, affectionately known as ‘Paddy the Engineer’.

He was a driving force behind the annual charity cycle since its inception in 1982, regularly participating and fundraising for various causes. Beyond his cycling contributions, the Glenflesk native was also a notable footballer, having been part of the East Kerry team that secured the first All-Ireland Senior Football Championship in 1971.

Cathal Walshe, PRO of the Ring of Kerry Cycle said: “On behalf of the Ring of Kerry Charity Cycle I wish to extend sincere sympathy to Brenda and the O’Donoghue family on the sad and sudden loss of Paddy.

“He was a fantastic supporter of the annual charity cycle since it’s inception back in the 80s. A regular participant and wonderful fundraiser for whatever charity he chose. Paddy loved a challenge in whatever he undertook and was the epitome of what the event was all about. We miss the banter and craic but he won’t ever be forgotten. This year’s event will be dedicated to his memory on July the 5th. His likes will never be seen again. Slan Abhaile our friend.”

Tributes have been paid to Mr O’Donoghue, including from his local Glenflesk GAA club, who stated, “Glenflesk GAA would like to offer our sincere condolences to the family and friends of Paddy O’Donoghue on his sad passing. He was a true Glenflesk stalwart as a player, mentor and lifelong supporter.”

Paddy is survived by his wife Brenda, children Florence, Áine, Denise, Brenda, Báirbre, Patrick, and Alice, 17 grandchildren, his brother John, sisters Margaret, Kathleen, and Anna, and a wide circle of relatives and friends.

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